Boundaries and dating
And when we do this well, the reward is that our lives will resemble springs of living water!The problem is that when a relationship prematurely moves too deep, too soon, it leaves us vulnerable to heartbreak and emotional damage.Fileta calls this process “a journey of building trust.” She recommends that you take your time, allowing your relationship to go through the necessary seasons before allowing your conversation to jump ahead. Because where your conversation goes…your heart will go, too.Instead of allowing your hopes for a future together to blind you, she advises you “savor, assess, invest in, and engage in your relationship where it is now.” Scripture is full of specific instructions on how we should treat each other.As you begin dating, it is important that you each continue pursuing your individual relationships with God. Prayer is meant to be deeply intimate, baring your heart and your emotions before God.You definitely don’t want to go too fast in this area. Once the relationship has progressed to “seriously dating,” make spiritual activities a key part of your relationship.I had experienced heartbreak before, and I certainly didn’t want to experience that again.
At the reception we discovered with delight that the bride’s mother had arranged to seat all the single people at the same dinner table so we could “mingle.” “Who knows what might happen? It wasn’t long before we began a long-distance courtship, got engaged, and then married.
And, the reward is that your life will resemble springs of living water!
Alisa Grace ('92) serves as a consultant to the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class on Christian perspectives on marriage and relationships.
I remember constantly asking myself, “Does he really like me? ” I also remember reading and rereading every card to decipher any hidden encouragement that he might truly like me as much as I was growing to like him.
In fact, now I can’t believe how obvious it was that he was falling in love with me. What I know now that I didn’t realize then was that I had set some pretty strong emotional boundaries in place.